Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why did kenny the koala fall out of the tree? becuase kenny was dead. Why did kesha the koala fall out of the tree? because she was hit by kenny while he was falling.

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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Pain Olympics.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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This is a random Anti joke.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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THe Election

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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How do you make sure a kangaroo gets the right breakfast? Make sure it doesn't get the wrong breakfast

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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