A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

thumb_up thumb_down +7

your brother so fine that hes skinney

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walked into a bar. I shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops