Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

thumb_up thumb_down -13

2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

thumb_up thumb_down -13

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops