a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

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Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops