Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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Guy 1:Whats the difference between a towel and toilet paper? Guy2: I dont know Guy : SO IT WAS YOU!

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Adam Fantuzzi loves stroking jacobs small penis

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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So, this joke isn't funny.

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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