What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don't know u tell me

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops