Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

Hey how is your wife and my kids

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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