Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

Women deserve equal rights.

So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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