What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock It's open, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Jimmy do on his 8th birthday? Turn 8.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops