What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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Roses are red Violets are blue NO SHIT EINSTEIN!

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She was dead.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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What do you get if you mix a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu? A new breed of dog.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops