Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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Why did the boy dig a hole in the football field? He was blind and his parents were being quite irresponsible....However someone should probably fill in that hole, as that could be a hazard during a football game.

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A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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