An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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