To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

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roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

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what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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Whats 9 plus 10 ... WHO FREAKIN CARES! STUPID.

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops