What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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what did the old lady die of old age...

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

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See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

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A: Knock, knock A: Knock, knock A: Um, knock, knock! B: Sorry, I was pretending that I wasn't home.

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Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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What happens when you have nothing to do and you can't think of a joke? You just type whatever you want and hope to god someone likes it.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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so how about that irline food

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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