What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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your face

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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salad days!

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Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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