Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops