What's long and black The unemployment line

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

thumb_up thumb_down +13

if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops