How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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What's black and shouldn't have the right to vote? Ants

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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