The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops