I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

my egg roll

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

rarw

what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

Hats better than a stick? A stone

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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