A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q:What's the greatest part about having sex with twenty five year old girls? A: There's 20 of them

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why couldn't the young african american read? He was born blind

thumb_up thumb_down -29

how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Indians

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -29

My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops