Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is a black man's favorite food? It differs from person to person.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Gawds Trololols: Jewsus: I die for ur Sins, now u are free! *argh* Gawd AD 3000: TIME TO DIE SINNERS! Jewsus: But I paid for humanity`s sins and am stuck in hell because of this and... Gawd: Meh just didnt really liek you TROLOLOL! Gawds Trololols 2 directors clit: Gawd: Jebus! (the third) I want you to trololol peeps now! GO! Jebus: As you see people, I have died for you in order to prove that I am immortal! Peeps: Uh, wow? Jebus: TROLOLOL! So dad, when am I gonna get back to earth again, I kinda promised my boyfriends/apostles that there would be a second cumming as you told me to do, and people have been waiting for over twothousand and fourtee... Gawd: Never! Trolololol! Moral: "Would you trust a being whose veins are loaded with alcohol?" Jesus 2: The second coming: In cincemas never!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do u call a bunch of white dudes siting on a bench ......the NBA

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops