what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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What do trees and people have in common? If you hit them enough times with an axe they will fall over.

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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what just happened when chuck norris falling from the sky..? Starts making a wish

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Neither has he

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Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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why did the kid stop eating his breakfast...two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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whatdumb and gay stewart price

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Why did single women didn't want any babies for? because of Ice Ice Baby.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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y r black people noses so big??? A= god had to hold tem somehere to spray paint them

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a guy walks into another tall man knowing that he has something weird in his mouth. he pulls out a fly, apologizes for running into him and promptly walks to his small appartment to brush his teeth. the next day a fridge hits him in the face and he spontaneously combusts. he was never seen again.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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