Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops