what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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A young baby died.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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