Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

God saw himself. Finally, proof.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

What did the blond say to the ginger Stop drop and roll your hairs on fire

Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

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ME

What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

He who laughs last gathers no moss.

Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

What do bluejays and cardinals have in common? They both Were born during the Medevil period.

Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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