I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

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if there is a circle of fat people and you throw a cookie in the middle of the circle. It will be the best game of hungry hungry hippos you will ever see.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

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Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Knock knock Who's there? Tom Tom who? Tom Rodgers I don't know you Tom decides to leave the house because the person in the house does not recognize him

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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what did jacob say to coach a joke

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How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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