- Anti Joke

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

Hats better than a stick? A stone

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

What does two plus two equal? 4

HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

why wasnt nathan invited the party? nathan's been dead for 5 years

Your mom is so old she died

why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.