When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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