How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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here's a joke... the american education society

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

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“Ok, time for bed” … is what I said to the empty living-room. It was getting late, and the internet no longer amused me. I picked up my cell phone, rooted through the couch cushions until I located the remote, and turned off the television that had been nothing but background noise for the last few hours. I made sure the front and back doors were securely locked, walked around the back of the couch, and turned off the only light. A tap on the screen of my phone created just enough light to keep from busting a toe on an errant table leg. Because my cats have an evil tendency to lie in the middle of the hallway, I aimed the small amount of light from my phone directly in front of my tired and shuffling feet. I’d only covered a small distance before I knew, from many nights of this same regimen, that I was getting close to the bedroom door. At this point my arm started the slow upward arc that would eventually illuminate the now pitch-black opening to the comfort of my room. The light emanating from my cell was quite dim, and this action had become quite rote, so my arc was about waist level before I noticed a slight variation of the familiar black of the open doorway. At that point, and in a disturbingly short amount of time, five things happened nearly simultaneously: My arm, the arm carrying the phone, continued to rise in its predetermined arc, having been an object in motion which would stay in motion. I released a small gasp and exclaimed to my husband that his sudden appearance in the dark had startled the breath from me. I remembered that my husband was at work. The light arc reached its apex on a face of protruding nail-like teeth. A face suspiciously bereft of eyes, with a gaping, oozing, bloody pit where a nose should have been. The light went out.

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What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

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it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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