A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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