Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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