What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

A: What Santa said when he caught Mrs. Claus with one of his elves... Q: What is "Ho ho ho?"

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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