Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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What's Gay and has a penis? Justin Bieber, I lied about the penis

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God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Psychics.

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

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Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Frontbut-

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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Guy A: Why is 6 scared of 7? Guy B: Because 7, 8, 9? Guy A: No, numbers don't have feelings Guy C: That's so dumb Guy A: Hey you know what, this is an A and B conversation so... Guy C: So C your way out? Guy D: Yeah, before D and E come and F U up! Guy E: Are you guys high or something? Guy F: Dude, I'm a girl, F stand for female (Author): Oops sorry Girl F: Thanks Guy G: Mind Blown O_O

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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