A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

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dallen loves penis

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops