What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A muslim walks out of a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops