A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

guess what? bannanas

A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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