Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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