Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

Neither have I

Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

a. why? b. because I wanted

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

Why did the blond fall down? She died.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

So a man walks into a bar, right?

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...