What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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you will like this because i am black.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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Q: What do you say to someone who makes fun of you and is bigger than you? A: Nothing, you just punch him in the toe and run away

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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