How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops