What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's! ...... Who the hell are you?

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

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A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

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what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

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Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops