Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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THe Election

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips can be of multiple colors.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops