Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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Why did the women sleep in the kitchen. Due to the poverty levels of her area of residence, sub-sahara Africa, she, her 7 children and 3 orphaned nephews lived in one ram shackled room with a corrugated iron roof which served as a multi-purpose kitchen, bedroom, lounge and greeting area.

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your mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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