Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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