A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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Enters password. Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabet, your left foot, a theme song to a television show, and the blood of your enemies. Enters password. Password Strength: Weak

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

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Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

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You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Boy, is it hot this summer! How hot is it?! So hot that many people have died as a result!... Drink plenty of water.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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