What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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knock knock

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops