Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

Hey how is your wife and my kids

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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