Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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look at your sister now look at me now look at your sister now look at me you probably have now realized that you cant see me.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

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Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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