So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

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a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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why did the man have an axe in his car he kills children with it

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops