Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops