How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

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How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

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You are joking right?

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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Maths.

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Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

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"Knock knock..." "come in"

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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