If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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