What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

Why did people run from the chicken? Because they didnt want to get bit by the chicken

a person who will soon die of beeties

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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