Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A cheetah walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve re cheetah, as cheetahs are an endangered species and does not want to risk the cheetah succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anybody else hate when people mispell words in jokes It ruins the joke Most them prob some scumbags Probs to Jeffrey K April 12, 2013 1:55 PM

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is green and slow Grass.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

lol

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops