A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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What is older than history?

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Hello, I am Sergent Henry Orange. I'm afraid your husband was shot down by an enemy aircraft. I'm sorry, he was a brave man.

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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Life on the line? I just do it for the kill and the potential savage rape and consumption! And yeah, a man is not a man but a boy if he cant protect his lady friends. HEY WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! Why you playing so hard to get now? YOUR FLESH IS MINE! It is just like a billion pages ago where we where talking VERY down and dirty.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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