A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, That's okay, I'm not colourblind.

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I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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What do you call a black person born in America? American.

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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you need 2 pple for this. Ask me if im a tree? Are you a tree? no

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If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops