Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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how man

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When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops