Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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