whats worse that being raped by a giant squirrel? being raped by two giant squirrels.

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops