What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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-Knock knok who's there? -Orange Orange who? -Orange you glad im an orange? ...I believe you have confused the noun "Orange" with the conjunction "aren't".

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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Barack Obama is a good president.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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