A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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Listen, I do not really care anymore, I admit it, I dont mind screwing with people, but if your name is Tifa, my name is lets see... Solid Snake, yeah, but call me big boss. Listen, be honest with me, if you do not trust me, just do not give me a random name, Tifa as in Tifa Lockheart? Final Fantasy? Wake up, girl/guy, you are losing your touch at this.

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

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Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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A bar walks into Chuck Norris.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

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What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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