Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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- What is worse than a baby in a trash bin ? - A baby in five trash bins.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops