Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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69.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops