what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

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Jack Stevens

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America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

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What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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