- Anti Joke

what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

How to condom style ! Ayyyyyyy thts ur baby ! No! No! No! No! No! No! Broken condom style ;)

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A Pilot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops