Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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autistic kids rock

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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how man

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osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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