What do you call an African American woman with Tourettes? This question cannot be answered correctly. The African American woman was misdiagnosed. She is really a crack whore.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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