Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

thumb_up thumb_down -12

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A muslim walks into a gun shop

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the black man driving a plane? because he was a pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two corns were decided to get married. In wedding, bridegroom can't find bride, so he asked a popcorn next to him, "Do you know where is the bride?" The popcorn answered, "I just change my hair style."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops