What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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