What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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You are in a room with hitler and bin Ladin. You have a gun with 1 bullet. Who do shoot? Don't worry you don't have to make that decision. They are already both dead

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What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

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Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

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I asked the librarian where to find a specific book. She told me where it was.

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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What did god say when a black person was born? Damn I burnt one

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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what's 6 inches long and women love? my penis

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Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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How do you make a baby stop screaming? Pour acid down its throat.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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