How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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Knock Knock! Who's There! That's right! And now for our next song: "Magic Bus!" One TwoThree Four.....

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops