what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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A man walks into bar carrying a nondescript glass bottle of beer. The bartender speaks up in a harsh tone "We don't allow outside drink here buddy! If you're drinking here, you're buying it from here! The man replies, "Oh I'm sorry, it's just that this isn't a normal beer. Every time you take a swig from it, you are granted one wish!" The bartender, who is at this point getting visibly irritated, "I ain't got no time for fairy tales. Screw off!" The man seemingly unfazed by this anger tells him, "I'm not any kind of liar. I have three sips left. You can have them if you want." The bartender snatches the bottle with his unwashed hands from the man. "Fine" he says gruffly "I'll drink your magic beer." He thinks for a brief minute and says to himself, "I wish I had an expensive sports car." and takes a drink from the bottle. No later then a second later, a Ferrari pulls up into the driveway. It is a sleek and dark red color. It was of the latest model and did not have a single scratch whatsoever. The bartender's eyes pop wide open in astonishment and he quickly makes his second wish, "I wish I had a beautiful girlfriend!". And he took another drink. No later than five seconds, A leggy 5'7 blonde bombshell steps out of the entrance. She dons a short white skirt, Long red stiletto heels and a jet black spaghetti strap top. The bartender starts to sweat and looks a little nervous. "And my final wi-EUGHAAAHGGHHH!" The bartender collapses from the floor drooling from the mouth. It turns out that the liquor he was drinking was 180-proof alcohol that his old liver could not take. The blonde woman steps back and lets out a disgusting shriek. "Ewww, this old ugly hobo just ODed on the floor. Can we go somewhere else for drinks Jeremy?" Her boyfriend replies, "Yeah good idea babe. This place looks a trash heap anyway. You deserve better." The couple do not hesitate in stepping into their sleek red Ferrari and driving off. The man who had given the bartender the beer proceeded to check the dead man's pockets and rob it of all of it's contents. Nobody ever caught the man, and not a single person in the bar cared enough about the bartender to call 911. Moral of the story: Magic does not exist and life sucks.

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- What is worse than a baby in a trash bin ? - A baby in five trash bins.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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