I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Neither have I

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops