Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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How is a presidential election like Alien vs. Predator? Whoever wins, we lose.

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

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Why did the girl cry when her boyfriend brought up the topic about rape? Because she was raped by her father as a child and it was a suppressed memory.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This poem is getting old, I like cookies.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops