Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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Poop

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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What does the hulk do when he's angry? Compulsively masturbate.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

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what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

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Yo momma so stupid, she failed the 2nd grade math

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops