Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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