What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You tell me. I have amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops