What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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