There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

say it ten times fast: oh

How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

Yo mamma so black that u can't see her eyebrows

welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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