Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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69.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

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Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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