What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

the waterhorse is a beautiful creature. It often frolics through fields of wheat.

whts worse than finding a worm in your apple? butt sex with the devil

What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

Two baby seals walk into a club.

What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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