WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

An orthodox rabbi, a Methodist preacher and a Muslim Cleric walk into a bar and blow that month's tithings on video slots.

Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

what do you call a rich, gay guy from Florida? Iron man

dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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