There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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