what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

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Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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