What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Why did the black guy cross the road? He didn't because he forgot to precede crossing the busy street with caution; therefore he was critically injured and then placed in a hospital.

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You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops