I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Black guy something something. Anti-racist punchline.

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

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poopy is poopy

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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