Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

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Roses are red. Violets are beer. Kay eckelkamp is in charge here.

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops