What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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no

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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what's white and sticky semen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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