Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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Q:Whats evil ,not funny and on wheels A:The Holocost on wheels

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

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Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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