i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops