-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Flowers are colors Love me

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Racial equality.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

anti jokes are really funny

thumb_up thumb_down +4

yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My title of old was Satan. You humans killed my brother, ending God the holy trinity`s stay on earth, the Gods Omega. Moral: And yet you call ME? THE ANTICHRIST?!? I OFFERED HIM WATER! YOU OFFERED HIM TORTURE AND DEATH!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops