A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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