A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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What did the Mexican guy say to the black guy? What? Nothing, he don't speak English

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Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

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what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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Person A: I think your father might be a thief, I'm not sure though. Person B: How come? person A: I cannot find my virginity. Person B: I apologize my dad taught me well.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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