Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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wwwwwhhhurjfjfiudkdhdhkrjfhfjhptghxusudgfhfdhydsyartsdyufhftsysduifogfiiffiydyycufkdytgysyseyydyyduudduydfefikdkeejdicttsysieoowowugagshxjkcjdjevwgyeixodlbbsgwdfehidigofojrehnfkcocoeppwiwufvvdjxifooejehedicisgeneifofjrjhehdhxirjvhejfjhrbrhjfbducjebkwpqosbhdhsvddhehueuwowpqpfugtbcihebdhdjgeyqiichhesweysyhy vhhhhhshdjfjhehehehehehuijrhfeds???????????????????????????????)GHJDJDJFKHRHDJDIEHDJKCHEEJFcyfjfjudffyewdjhsafvd

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Elton John? They're both gay.

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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What do the Mexican man, the Asian man and the Jewish man all have in common? "man"

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, So what is the colour violet for?

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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You know what's funny? A well told joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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