what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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if you can read this you dont' need glasses

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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24

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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I am in love with pizza. It was a friday night and i was hanging around with my so called friends 'banana-rama' 'pearman' and 'peaches' (keep in mind these are all fruit). I ordered a pizza from Poker Pizza and it came an hour later i brung it to my kitchen and i opened the box. It was lovely. I eat it, i soon realized that I had eat my one true love and decided to order another pizza.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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