Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

Q: Why did the cookie go to the dentist? A: Because he was dying of brain cancer.

Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

what is brown and sticky? a stick

how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

What did Bobby get for Christmas? Nothing, Bobby is an orphan and has no friends.

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

Magic Johnson has AIDS

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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