An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down

A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the world end? Because of Jim Layhey's whispering winds of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

thumb_up thumb_down

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

thumb_up thumb_down

There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down

Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

thumb_up thumb_down

What the difference between a mexican family and a bench? The bench can support the family

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

thumb_up thumb_down

I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

thumb_up thumb_down

The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

thumb_up thumb_down

How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

thumb_up thumb_down

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down

what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down

your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops