What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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