your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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Nero here, nice to see you guys again, now you know why my babbling has been excessive (and pissed at the comments below, but now that the pills are working I am calm) Anyway, yeah point Zero is my "world" now, and its been thriving under my values (something I feared would just work on paper, and if so such beliefs would all been for nothing) As for hero... Well insert something like "I am no hero, I just do what is right" or something cheesy, or... Well, thats what I do really... Since nobody uses this site Ill extend the time you "former followers" can chat, as I got some nice stuff to share, and might just share a bit before I pass away (nah, but I will sleep when tired), I got a lot to do tomorrow.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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