Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

an autistic child eats its family's dogs poop and dies

What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

it was all Tagart

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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