- Anti Joke

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The fact that you actually took time to read this cynically hypnotizing answer that you cannot seem to stop reading even though you know that this sentence is just a clever run to show the epitomy of the anti joke. ha-ha.

Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The fact that you actually took time to read this cynically hypnotizing answer that you cannot seem to stop reading even though you know that this sentence is just a clever run to show the epitomy of the anti joke. ha-ha.

Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

What's the difference between a black person and a park bench? Benches are inanimate objects while people are indeed carbon-based life forms.

Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The fact that you actually took time to read this cynically hypnotizing answer that you cannot seem to stop reading even though you know that this sentence is just a clever run to show the epitomy of the anti joke. ha-ha.

Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You apparently are not a fan of lemons what so ever, so you then throw them away, not knowing what to expect.

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease