why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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