I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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Evan Ramsey hahaha go CAD

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

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There's 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving. Probably one of the 2 men.

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Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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