What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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