What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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