Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops