What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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What's worse than a snake in your boot. A boot in your snake.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

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What does the fox say? "It's called a hustle, sweetheart."

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

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Dont read this joke

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A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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So 3 Jews walk into a bar, I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

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Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

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What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

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This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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