What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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Why did the dyslexic chicken cross the toad? Because the toad mocked his dyslexia, and the chicken does not tolerate rude bastard toads.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops