what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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im not black, im Joseph Kony

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

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Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Equal rights!

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? names.

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Why are Black Guys Black? Migration and adaptation to the harsh heat of the southern Sahara Desert. DUH.

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If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

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An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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