Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than torture? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what's worse than me fucking your mom she enjoyed it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the rose look so brown? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops