Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops