How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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A black person dies.

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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