What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

The cream, it is coming

What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

Albino African Americans

What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

What kind of Juice do White supremacists Hate the most? Minute Maid.

Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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