As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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kieran is a homosexual

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? No.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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Jamie stegman liked doodle alot. Yummy he thought to himself as it entered his mouth.

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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WOw you have no life

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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What to hear an anti-joke? No.

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Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

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Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

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A dead guy walks into a grave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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