A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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I don't get it

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Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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