Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

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What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

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What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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can people thumb up the evil dead statment below please... its important to me. (and the cup joke below) thanks people , ur great.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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How do you make an anti-joke offensive? Add racism to it.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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