why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 3, according to Mr. Owl

"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

What do you call four black people in a car? A family road trip.

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

Your mom's so fat that when she stepped on the scale at the doctors office the doctor said " hey i wanted your weight not your phone number"

What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

gay pom...

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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