Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are chickens violets are pizza this poem makes no sense, Refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops