Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti - Jokes. com

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops