I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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What's short and weak and has no life..........a Jordan pederson!

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If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

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Jennifer walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender's name was Steven. His friend's sister who was my cousin's ex wife has the same name as the girl Jennifer. That's what I heard.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

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Whats long and black? The line at KFC.

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

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One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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What did the man say ti the other man? Hi

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Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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A Mormon walks into a bar.

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Why did the plane crash? Because he pilot was a loaf of bread

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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A sober Irish individual.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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