An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

whats the difference between friends and cement? if you soak friends in liquid and then repeatadly shock them they will die

A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

A guy walks into a bar

BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

What did the cat say to the towel? Meow.

How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

You are joking right?

Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

A knock knock B who's there A nobody

What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

did you hear about the dyslexic, overweight, wheelchair bound blind guy? No? Niether did I, I'm deaf so don't hear about anything.

why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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