What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

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(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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YOU

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops