What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

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whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops