What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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What's frozen and eaten off a stick? Your dead uncle Norman

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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