A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

3 men in a boat One day there were a American, Mexican, and a Chinese men in a boat. The Chinese man threw over a fortune cookie and said we have to many of these in our country. The Mexican threw over a taco and said we have to many of these in our country. The American threw over the Mexican and said we have to many of these in our country. The End

Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

want to hear a yo mama joke sure Your dad

What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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