Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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What did the man say ti the other man? Hi

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read this sentence again.

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penis

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what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A second Holocaust. What's worse than a second Holocaust? Being raped by Santa Claus. What's worse than that? NOTHING.

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What do you call a leper in a spa bath? Say excuse me Sir (or Madam), I notice you have leprosy, did you know that it is treatable? MDT for multibacillary leprosy consists of rifampicin, dapsone, and clofazimine taken over 12 months. Dosages adjusted appropriately for children and adults are available in all primary health centres in the form of blister packages.[17] Single dose MDT for single lesion leprosy consists of rifampicin, ofloxacin, and minocycline. The move toward single-dose treatment strategies has reduced the prevalence of disease in some regions, since prevalence is dependent on duration of treatment. World Leprosy Day was created to draw awareness to leprosy and its sufferers

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What did the agnostic say when he turned blue? He said "wow why am I blue?"

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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A Muslim on a plane yells out "Hijack!" Jack replies with "Hello" and the two engage in a casual conversation for the duration of the flight.

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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