Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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Why did kenny the koala fall out of the tree? becuase kenny was dead. Why did kesha the koala fall out of the tree? because she was hit by kenny while he was falling.

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Why did the fat guy ride his camel to the grocery store? Because he didn't want to walk to the grocery store

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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