- Anti Joke

Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

Obama

What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

whats green and lives in the water

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

What's worse than having a spiked club shoved up your butthole? Not much.

A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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