Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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haha

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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VITAMIN C!

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Hey! You wanna' hear a joke? Black Freedom

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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