Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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antijoke is the best website.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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Gay rights.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops