Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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