what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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