what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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So a horse walks into a barn.

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Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

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Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

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I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

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Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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Do cows get breast cancer or utter cancer?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops