What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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what is the different between a prostitute and your wife one is on contract and the other pay as you go

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

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Why did the woman eat her sandwich. She was hungry.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? We are both horses

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve you kind here." The black man says, "Is it because I'm black?" The bartender replies, "Yes."

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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