Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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