Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

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qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwarvt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwaagouyevoqehertcuqiocetkuqvaewrtvlauh gtkgervt qairtfgaosuivdfvaesvfausertveastuvivwsevutaps9euitvasdiufhaseyvfousevatusaidcotaiuetsvwa

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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i black man walks in to a bar.he askes if he can make out with you? the man says"no. black man says"why? the guy says"because im not homersexal. black man says"oh. boss says"hey i told you dont talk to black people. guy says"no i can ekplan.boss says no more of buts or buy. boss says" you are fired guy says"NO! boss says"yup both of you get out! guys say no two guards come to talk them out. THE END`DONE!

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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Knock knock. Who's there? Honey, are you hearing things again? Nobody knocked on the door... Honey-are-you-hearing-things-again-nobody-knocked-on-the-door who? ...

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There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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What's one plus one? 2. Two legit, two legit to quit, hey, hey... What's one plus two? 3. Easy as abc, 123, abc, baby you and me. What's one plus three? 4. hes a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow.

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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