A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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You know what's funny? A well told joke

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Knock, knock Whos there? docter doctor who? yes how did you know?

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An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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what is the difference between the number 2 and the number 5 3

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I'm homeless.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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what kind of dog can tiptoe

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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