'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Cole likes to trim jaycie's butt pubes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

thumb_up thumb_down +4

person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

3 women are on a plane. One blonde, one brunnete, and the other a red head. The pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. The 3 women find out that there is only one parachute in the plane. The plane crashes and they all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops