Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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