What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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you go up your hole down your hole between your hole and you rock and roll

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Holocast ...

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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A man is a joke for making a joke on antijoke

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What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Cancer

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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What are kids supposed to do in American classrooms if a nuke hits nearby? Hide under the desk. (This is a fact) Moral: Like that is gonna help... seriously that is ridiculous!

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What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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