What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds. My girlfriend was a fatass. Wasn't gonna make that mistake again when I found a woman to marry.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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What's brown, sticky, green, yellow, and orange that rides a unicycle? I have no clue, that's why I asked.

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A boy called Justin bieber fell down a hole and died

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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when u cant say fuck say firetruck because it starts with f and it ends with uck ?firetruck?

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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why was Ralph depressed? Because his family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn’t quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family’s murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family’s killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer’s whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers’ home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers’ body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn’s life didn’t, and wouldn’t, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him “You’re finally home Ralph, you’re finally home.”

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To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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