Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Your girlfriend.

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Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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A bus crashes and everybody dies.

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops