you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops