Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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