Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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When making an Anti-Joke, you click the button that says: 'I have read and agree to the terms of service' What are you called? A Liar.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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Roses are red. I f***** a dude. you're a failed abortion. I never loved you.

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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