Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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dyslexics of the world untie!

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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kieran is a homosexual

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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