- Anti Joke

How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

-5

Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

-5

Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

-5

A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

-5

Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

What's long hard and black A drain pipe

why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.