I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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