Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

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Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops