Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops