A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Hey

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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so your snowboarding in the dessert and all four of your tires pop. how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house. the answer is B. 500 squids

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A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

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what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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