If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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WNBA

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What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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What's worse than being a Jew in the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

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What's worse then Justin Bieber? 9-11

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What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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