How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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Ok so, we have bread , tofu, coolwhip

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Grace Ackerson

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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