1+1= 69

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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Carlton

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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Two guys were sitting in a pub.

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Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

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Women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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