What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is this website named Anti Joke because that's what the creator wanted it to be called

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

American healthcare.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how many letters are in Montana? 7 yes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

No joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many babies does it take to fill a ditch? Six if you pack them in really tight.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's in there? Get outta there...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

chuck norris is a little b|tch

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops