what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

whens your birthday? July 16th What year? Every year

thumb_up thumb_down +31

the cow goes moo

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

An antijoke

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

your moms so fat she has kankles

thumb_up thumb_down +25

An asian kid in a classroom starts to squint to try to see the board that is far away. A white man looks at the kid and asks, "Hey asian, is it hard for you to see that board?" The Asian replies, "Yes, yes it is."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What do you call a group of asians riding their bikes while carrying large bags of merchandise filled with an ample amount of video games? A: Obviously, a few enviromentally-friendly entrepreneurs who managed to make enough of a profit via their established buisness to the extent that they could buy what they required and get some other desired items as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are black violets are gray im color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

thumb_up thumb_down +19

- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops