What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

Carlton

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

What's green and wheels? Your mom.

A man walks into a bar. Ow!

what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

Two guys were sitting in a pub.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

your moms so fat she has kankles

Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

tim tebow is a great quarterback

What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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