what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Knock knock! "It's unlocked"

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Oh...okay, good.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

You are the third derivative of the position function.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops