What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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Reading the Terms and Conditions

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

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kieran is a homosexual

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

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Your moms so stupid that she called me to get my number

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A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

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A dead guy walks into a grave.

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause fuck you thats why

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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Human race: Let's play hide and seek! BOEING MH370: K faggotz :P

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a man with a scar on his right hand walked in to a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x z y.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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