Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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Two stoners walk into a bar. They didn't drive there because they were high and wanted to enjoy a cool, evening stroll.

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why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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