What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops