I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and now has two jobs to support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

thumb_up thumb_down -22

God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the man crossed the busy road? Because he was sick of life.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

wut du u cull a niggre whos wyte nut a niggre

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you do if a black man steals your flatscreen TV? Give up, he's probably in Mexico by now.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

thumb_up thumb_down -24

roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops