Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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