What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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dallen loves penis

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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i want to meet Dora's parents and ask them why they let that bitch go everywhere

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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were you expecting a joke

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping one white girl? You call the police.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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Why was the man sad? His brother died.

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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dead dibbs

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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