Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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mitchell palmer sucks

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Q:What did Sandy say to Spongebob? A:Nothing, They were both crushed by the water pressure of being on the bottom of the ocean.

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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