A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

thumb_up thumb_down -34

There once was a man from Nantucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -36

dallen loves penis

thumb_up thumb_down -36

how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

#IsaiahAfterAD&B

thumb_up thumb_down -36

If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

thumb_up thumb_down -38

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -38

why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops