What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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