Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A broken boomerang

You're welcome. On to the next house.

-Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? -No. -Well niether has he.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

Q - What's the difference between a Park Bench and a Black Man ? A - The Park Bench can support a family.

What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

How do you kill a blonde girl? You put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a filled pool.

Yo momma so fat she soon became aware of her physical state and developed an eating disorder which led to her tragic death.

whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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