a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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whats the difference between slade , and wizard? wham

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops