Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

Anti Jokes = Drained

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is wrong As violets are violet

How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

Pain Olympics.

What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

Why did kenny the koala fall out of the tree? becuase kenny was dead. Why did kesha the koala fall out of the tree? because she was hit by kenny while he was falling.

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

This is a random Anti joke.

How do you make sure a kangaroo gets the right breakfast? Make sure it doesn't get the wrong breakfast

Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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