A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

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There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops