5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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