- Anti Joke

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.