What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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the boy fell, because he hit a bump.

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Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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