Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

men's rights activists

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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