Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

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why did the black man get kicked out of the hospital? nothing was wrong with him.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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Two men walk into a bedroom. Did I mention they were gay?

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you see theres this guy.

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

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What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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irish man drinking john smiths

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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