A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

djkldfnblfnbofgb

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by 7, who is a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

thumb_up thumb_down -8

And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops