What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

thumb_up thumb_down +22

two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Killing your friend as a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hey Shea

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops