Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

All of the people in the burning building escaped except for one what was wrong with that one person? He was a blind, could not hear and was in a wheelchair.

The Labour Party.

roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

Your Mum is soo fat.

Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

Pop Fiction last words. guess who edition: "Okay okay you win again Batman! Ahahaha hohohoho hehehehe! Wanna hear a new jo... Eh... what are you doing with that gun?" "Why did I not just take a step or two to the side during the five hours and over thirty episodes he kept charging that Kamehameha?" "Bah I cannot die as long as my ego is full! Are these really the ratings on my latest game? H0moerotic? Childish? A sociopath? Oh man..." Moral: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the moralmanBitch! HOAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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