Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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salad days!

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What did enzo give courtney for her 69th birthday? A cake that looked like a pussy cat named kyle

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I was expecting something like that... Anyway, good you do not mind in particular, because that means I am just boring myself here, so, tell me something about yourself you don't tell people most.

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A lot eh?

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Hail Hitler

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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What do you call 17 blondes standing in a row? most certainly not Charles because it seems as though it would be incrediblely unlikley that a girl would be named Charles

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

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whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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