why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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What's worse then Justin Bieber? 9-11

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

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You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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What's worse than being a Jew in the Holocaust? Nothing.

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

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What do black people and tables have in common? Nothing.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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knock,knock you suck

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Rsoes aer rde, voiltes are bule, i have dyslexia. It's not funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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