Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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A boy with red hair is happy.

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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