- Anti Joke

a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No