What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

5 Italian guys from Long Island

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

9/11 my birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops