What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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A Jewish man, a christian man, and a buddist man walk in bar, They all have to much to drink and are arrested for driving under the influence while trying to get back home.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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The Holocaust is worse than any number of bee stings. Unless, of course, bees separated people of certain ethnic backgrounds from their families and killed them off bit by bit by stinging them.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

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Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops