What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

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Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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Obama lin Baden.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

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Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

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"HEY DUMB FU** THIS STUFF IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!!" SAID SIMON COWELL!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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