#IHateHashtags

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did I the granda fall out of her wheel chair?. She fell down the steps

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock! Who is there? A 6ft tall black man who recently escaped prison that is requesting asylum in your lovely mansion. sounds legit.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops