I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Shltskc gw? G

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Your momma is so black that she probably has ancestors indigenous to Africa.

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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