Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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