I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

A man walks into a bar and is shot in the face

Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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ME

Boy: Hey girl, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you. Girl: ... *walks away*

Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

"Have you heard the skyscraper joke?" "No." "Oh. Well I don't feel like telling it to you."

Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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