Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Only steers and queers come from Texas and i dont see any horns on you so what does that mean? It means I am not a Minotaur.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is the difference between a puppy and a baby... ...they are different animals

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

thumb_up thumb_down +9

according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops