Once upon a time there was a magical duck in a magical kingdom. Nothing interesting ever happened to it and it was eaten by a magical fox.

#Getweird

what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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