What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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