Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

cory is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

thumb_up thumb_down -44

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Whats black and gay? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down -44

A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why does Garrett have a small penis? He is not old enough to buy extenze.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Humans are pathetic: What kind of heaven is it when you die, and learn that everybody you love chose the wrong religion and is burning in hell? Moral: Human garbage!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

thumb_up thumb_down -52

what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

thumb_up thumb_down -64

What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

thumb_up thumb_down +35

so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops