What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Q: Why did they laugh at the black guy? A: He told a funny joke.

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

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A dog run after a squirrel. the pursuit didn't last long the squirrel climb a tree.

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A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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Jimmy Saville

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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