guess what? bannanas

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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- What is worse than a baby in a trash bin ? - A baby in five trash bins.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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