What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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THe Election

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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Pain Olympics.

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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