A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

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There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, he doesn't let a minor disablity distract him from having a good time.

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops