miha kako si?

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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Your mom.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

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While i was driving, my son asked, 'Have you had an accident in the last 5 years Dad?' And I replied, 'You're almost four now son'.

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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