A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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...._ ..,,-======-. `''< .$$$$$$P"??$$??!!!!>. ,$$$$$$P .?!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$$$k !!!!!!!!!!!!!!> d$$$$$$$$ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!: d$$$$$$$$$F '!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: d$$$$$$$$$$ '!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$$$$$$$L !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! d$$$$$$$$$$$$ '!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! d$$$$$$$$$$$$ !!!!!XX!!!!!!!!!!!!! d$$$$$$$$$$$$x!!!!!!#X!!!!!!!!!!!!> 3$$$$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!$!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!$!!!!!!!!!!!!!> ?$$$$$$$$$$?!!!!!!!Xd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$$$$$?!!!!!!!WT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$$F!!!!!!!td!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $$$$$$$!!!!!!!Ud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$!!!!!!W?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$C!!!!!!E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> ?$$$$$!!!!!!E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$$X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> $$$$b!!!!9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> `$$$$$C!!9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$bUi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! `$$$$$$$$$$$$$b!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?$$$$$$$$$$$$$f!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $$$$$$$$$$$$$)!!!!!!!!!!!!!> ?$$$$$$$$$$F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!; ?$$$$$%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!; $$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! `$$$$P?(`-, `'(-(-`<>.\'- ,;

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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WNBA

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can people thumb up the evil dead statment below please... its important to me. (and the cup joke below) thanks people , ur great.

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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I? Everett

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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outside your comfort zone

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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