What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Donald Trump.

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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