Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's! ...... Who the hell are you?

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

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Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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my penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops