Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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your a vagina says you, your a booby

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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