Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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