Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

How do you make lady gaga cry? Give her bad romance haven't you heard this joke before......DUMBASS

Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

Turkey Balls

yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

A man walks into a bar. Nothing happens that's worth explaining.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

My jeans

Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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