Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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A king's son's birthday was coming up and the king asked,"Son i'm the king. You can have anything you want." And the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." For his birthday he got a rollar coster, a pizzaria, a new car, and of corse, some purple ping pong balls. The next year the king asked,"Son, i'm the king, you can have anything you want." and the son said,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." And for his birthday he got a manchin, an iphone, a water park, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. One day, the prince was driving in his car and was in a terrible car accadent. On his death bed, his father asked him one final question,"Son, why did you want all of those purple ping pong balls?" And the son answered,"Well, i wanted all of them because-" and then he died.

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What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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What's short, white, and is sick and tired of your shit? A toilet. What's white and killed Elvis? Also a toilet.

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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What's the difference between the Hulk and the Thing? One's green.

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

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What's big, black, and girls love to ride on? A horse

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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I? Everett

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was very scary.

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******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

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Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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