what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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What's the differnce of victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and others were raped then killed. Kelvin Yang.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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