Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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How did the black guy survive from drowning? Years of Swimming lessons at his local YMCA

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Q: Did you hear about the fire at the circus? A: It was in tents!

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

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What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What the librarian say to the man? Hi, can I help you?

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips can be of multiple colors.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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