Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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Rim Ram Ree, Kick him in the knee, Rim Ram Rass, Kick him in the other knee

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

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Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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