What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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A young baby died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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