Hey Shea

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

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Q :Why did the girl fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.

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Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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