what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

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Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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