If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

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roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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