A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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