Knock Knock. Doors open

thumb_up thumb_down +22

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

kkkk

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

thumb_up thumb_down +20

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops