I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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Why was Mary mucky? Because she was dragged to a field and raped

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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