Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

My Nan, that is all.

Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

drugs.

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

the sky is green no it is not

What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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