Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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guess what happened to ur mom? my mom is ded... oh...

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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