Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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Your Mom The End.

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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