Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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Where's the soap?

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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