Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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* two sisters are making yo mama jokes* * mom turns around* mom: Hey yo mama so stupid ... sister one: ummmm.... sister two: sure thats not you?

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she.

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Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

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A Hispanic, a Caucasian, and an African American walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

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Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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What did the boy without arms get in his Christmas present? A pair of gloves. Just kidding, he didn't open it yet.

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Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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