were you expecting a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -34

-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

thumb_up thumb_down -36

You're welcome. On to the next house.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops