What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

thumb_up thumb_down +12

rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops