What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

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Why did the blond paint in the nude? because she couldn't find her clothes, and wanted to express her emotions through art

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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The Big Band Theory

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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