Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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A circus clown climbs to the top of a five-storey ladder and dives into a foot-deep pool of water below. His neck is broken on impact. RIP Chuckles.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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Why is SkrillEX bad at fishing? S EX

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

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You are in a room with hitler and bin Ladin. You have a gun with 1 bullet. Who do shoot? Don't worry you don't have to make that decision. They are already both dead

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Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

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So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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