what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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star wars kid

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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