stephen hawking walks into a bar...

what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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