Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

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Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

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What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

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what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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How come the kid couldn't go to college Because he was black and couldn't afford it

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops