matt is fat

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

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What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

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What's black and shouldn't have the right to vote? Ants

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DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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Poop...

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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