How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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Three left giraffe testicles fell out of the sky and into a woman's grocery bag. "Did you know that 16 people die from dolphin rape every year? said Adolf Hitler as he began eating a horse.

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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Women's rights

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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A black man goes to his dentist appointment and the doctor asks, have you brushed your teeth today laderius? the black man replies: Yes, but my name is not laderius

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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