Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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