How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

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Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

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Roses are red.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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42

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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