What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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