Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

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There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Ily bae

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You are joking right?

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I was watching Fox news.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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Bala: Brid why don't you drink? Brid: When I was in college I was in students council. Whenever my friends called me during night, I used to go pick them up. Once we were working late in college and in the morning my hair was all ruined...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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