Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

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roses are red , violets are blue i love bernard he loves me too if you take him from my place i'll smash my fist in your face.

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

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A pig walks into a bar and says, "Oink."

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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why is stu taking so long to post a joke because he is autistic

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops