whats green and lives in the water

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

Obama lin Baden.

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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