- Anti Joke

Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

like this or you will die at some point in your life

What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

FUCK YOU

What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

everyone dislike the first joke on page one

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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