http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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How long does it take to acheive a superbowl win? However long it takes you.

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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what's funnier then 15? definitely not 14

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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