What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

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Roses are red , violets are blue, you like 1d? STFU

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

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What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops