An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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Roses are red.

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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What did the woman say to the black man in bed Good morning honey

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops