Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops