Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +12

are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

thumb_up thumb_down +12

antijoke is the best website.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops