What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

thumb_up thumb_down -33

knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -33

write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

PhilosopherCon: "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops