A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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