why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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