A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with men other than her husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops