Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Neither have I

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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