Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...