Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

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What's blue? The sky.

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops