Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

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How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

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what happens when y tell ur deff brother uve been sleeping with his wife..nothing

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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A guy walks into a Bar ........ OUCH

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What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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