Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

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Women's Rights

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Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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