A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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one time someone wrote an anti-joke, hoping for lots of likes, which give one a sense of validation. nope.

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

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Why can't white kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get soap in their mouths Why can't black kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get a beating until their butts turn black and blue and they'll start crying in pain

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

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Happy Monday!

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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