Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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What did the gay black man say after JFK was shot? Wow thats really sad but I have such an appetite right now so i should probably go to eat.

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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Women's rights.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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