there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops