Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Yo mama so fat and ugly, I don't want to tell you how fat and ugly she is for fear of vomiting.

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race-car = rac-ecar

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

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Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

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Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops