What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops