How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

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Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on a cruise together. A horrifying accident occurs, sinking the boat and killing all of them. Their deaths are mourned by their respective family members.

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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