Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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