Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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