What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your big dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops