Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

thumb_up thumb_down +13

im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops