Yo Momma so fat, that she need the atlantic to take a bath!

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Stop making 9/11 jokes their just plane unfunny

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whos there Not Susie What did Susie get for Christmas? I don't know , she never opened it. Who high fived Susie? No one Why did Susie die? She got shot in the face

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Ruff, hi, ruff ruff, we are both dogs ruff ruff, ruff ruff, ruff!!

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whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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