Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops