A dwarf walks under a bar.

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Turtles

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Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

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live babies

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A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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does this look unsure to you?

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Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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Why is this website named Anti Joke because that's what the creator wanted it to be called

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What do you call your mother? Mom.

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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A straight man walks into a gay bar and is amazed by the amount of fun he has and how cool people can be when you don't judge someone based on sexual preference or your own religious beliefs.

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DERP

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

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arse

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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Is Carly smart? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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