Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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Why did the sixteen year old girl get an abortion? She didn't want the responsibility of raising a child

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Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

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What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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blubber vaginass CC

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

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What's the worst part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap. What's the best part about having sex with a two year old? -Hearing the hip bone snap.

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The Aristocrats

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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yesterday i saw a man walking down the street with no legs. just kidding.

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What is worse then failing a test? Cancer

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

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What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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