whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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what did hitler say when the allies invaded germany i did NAZI that coming

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

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Equal rights!

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

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when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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taking out the trash... at night

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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