What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

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What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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autsim

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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What does the average fishermen catch Fish

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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