What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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