Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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My Nan, that is all.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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