What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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Why did Margret eat the banana? She was hungry.

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Nobody knows as humans are unable to understand the way dogs communicate.

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

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roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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