What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

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A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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Why did sarah fall of the swing? she has no arms. Knock knock. whos there? not sarah.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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it was all Tagart

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender gives him a drink. The man walks out of the bar. He drives home and slaps his wife. Alcohol is destroying his marriage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops