What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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so today i took a poop. hehe

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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So um think of two things. Oh wait backspace that. What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Ok answer. Ok stop no seriously so. Enter. Ok Enter. Q backspace A nope Chuck Testa

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops