What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happened to the child who was rushed into hospital with a deadly disease? He pulled through. I'ts depressing to be constantly hearing sad anti jokes, so here is a nice one. The child in question lived to eighty one, had a great life and a good job. See, it's nice to read a happy anti joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walked into a bar 2 hours later he died from drinking and driving

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Ayy mon, come smoke dis weed wit ma

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops