Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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A bar walks into a man

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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