Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops