Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

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Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

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Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

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Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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