Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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Donald Trump.

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

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why was the boy sad He was just abused by his parents and had aids

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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Womans baksetball...

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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