Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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