Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

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Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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Do you know what Ethiopian food tastes like? Ethiopian food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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