how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a box of cheerios? "Lovely, I think I'll have some of these for breakfast today. The wholegrain will be good for me."

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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Bob: Say this word that I spell out. Jane: Ok Bob: N.I.N.A. Jane: Um...Nina? Bob: Correct. Now try N.I.N.O. Jane: Nino like el nino Bob: Good. How about N.I.N.E. Jane: Ninny? Bob: Hahaha wrong

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I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

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knock knock whos there? yo mama yo mama who? yo mamas mama!!

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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What did one sexy babe say to the other? We are sexy

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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why did the kitten not eat its food? because its face was stapled to the floor.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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