Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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