What did the little girl buy for her cat? A box to bury him in.

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

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Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

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A child walked into the bar. He was promptly asked to leave because he was too young.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops