whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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