Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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