- Anti Joke

whats green and lives in the water

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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