Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

whats the difference between friends and cement? if you soak friends in liquid and then repeatadly shock them they will die

Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...