Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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kkkk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops