What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

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WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

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Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops