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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

What is green and has wheels???? Yo mamma on a Wednesday.

What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

josh sucks polish adams dick

Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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