How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

Wait what? What if you use the what what? Sorry I am still like super hypnotic trippy, dont worry though, I dont want it to end.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

Adam Chebali is awesome

Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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