Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

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I used to be an adventurer like you, until old age slowly took away my ability to move and go adventuring

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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what did one waiter say to the other? were waiters.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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If you give a man a fish, he'll eat it.

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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whats worse than finding ten dead babies in one recycling bin finding ten dead babies in one trashcan ---sticksack

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Whats gayer then dancing with the stars? Justin beiber

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

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Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

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why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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The Minnesota Vikings won a game.

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Did you know? . You already know!

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What is blue and roles about on the floor A baby playing with a plastic sack

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops