why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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