Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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YOU-why did the airplane crash? (person): why? YOU-Because jimmy was flying it. (person): Who is jimmy? YOU- a fish.

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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a group of teenagers are laughing at a boy around their age when on says "youre stupid" the boy then replies "i prefer the term Autistic"

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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what did the black mother think of her daghter's white boyfreind? i dont know i cant read minds

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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