whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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whats the difference between friends and cement? if you soak friends in liquid and then repeatadly shock them they will die

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I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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You are joking right?

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Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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