Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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What did the American man say to his brother right before his brother's wedding? You should not get married because most likely your marriage will end in a horrible divorice, which will ruin the rest of your pathetic life.

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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