A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops