why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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