A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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