Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

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Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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