What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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knock knock who's there Bob oh hi, come in

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

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Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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