why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do you have to be so, you know... Open about what we are gonna do and stuff? I mean I know some people here, and you are a married man and you know.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are Blue Violets are Red Watermelons are green Refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -7

For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Neither have I, nobody knew him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops