Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

4 hours later.

Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

No it doesnt..

Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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