How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

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What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

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Racial Equality

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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Why did the blonde fall off the cliff? She was blind and deaf so she never knew where to go, and her parents kicked her out for her problems. It is a sad situation that noone wants to go through

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops