Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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My zombie busting team: Tank: The Terminator Mechanic: Tony Stark Demolitions: Superman Medic: Gandalf Bait: Justin Bieber

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

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What happend to the man who walked into a forrest? He got raped by a giant vicious mutant spider

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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