Why did the one friend hate the other friend? Because the one friend didnt do a map for social studies he should've done and skipped school for that class and when he came back, the other friend told the social studies teacher he was here and he had to turn in an unfinished poster and now he is a crybaby bitch about it.

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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Yo momma's so stupid, she got a moderately low score on her SATs, and sadly, was not excepted by any colleges she applied to, and never got a job. This is why she became depressed, and resorted to suicide to escape the growing pain.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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