Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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