A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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Have you ever seen a cowboy chasing boot?

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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your mama's so fat... that's it

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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