What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

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haha

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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