Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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Wait what? What if you use the what what? Sorry I am still like super hypnotic trippy, dont worry though, I dont want it to end.

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ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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What is older than history?

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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