An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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Ian: Your Mama's so dumb, she tried to commit suicide off a sidewalk. Dan: Yea, and when that didn't work she hanged herself.

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How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops