A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

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What's worse than r-a-p-e? Gang r-a-p-e.

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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Two turtles are in a bathtub. One turtle says to the other turtle "Hey, can you pass the soap". The other turtle says "what do you think I am, a toaster?"

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

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How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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