Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

What kind of Juice do White supremacists Hate the most? Minute Maid.

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

Face Hunter is scum

Link ate ink to make him sink.

The cream, it is coming

Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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