I'm tired.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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my penis

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Nathan likes butt games with African American men

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Q: What used to be black, and then became white, and touches young boys? A: Michael Jackson.

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What did the horse say to the other horse? neh

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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