how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

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What did the penguin say to the other penguin? Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing? she was a double amputee.

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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