What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

why is pie good. because it just is.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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