A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

thumb_up thumb_down -4

there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do Lincoln, JFK, and Barack Obama all have in common? They were all president of the United States of America and are relatively good people.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops