How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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What's puby and dandruffy? Aodhan Hearty

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So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

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Roses are red,violets are blue, dont read my words, says the ring of lords.

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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Why did Margret eat the banana? She was hungry.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Nobody knows as humans are unable to understand the way dogs communicate.

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Father "Why so down son?" Son "I've always been this short..."

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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A man walks into a bar. Sup.

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

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roses are red violets are blue do i care? no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops