A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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Q: humpty dumpty sat on a wall A: yeah right

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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