- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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alert("Hello");

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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