how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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