Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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