Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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a man walks into a desert Obama is there to greet him and they have a nice chicken dinner

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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Women's rights.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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