Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Jack Stevens

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops