why did jenny drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock who's there? not jenny.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats white and sticky? a white stick

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

:y do people talk? ;idk :oh then nevermind

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo momma so stupid she tried drowning a gold fish. She got accused for animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a room full of jewish women with yeast infections? The waiting room of a gynecologists office, potentially in some sort of Jewish district

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops