What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

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A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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What did the guy say when he came out of the closet? Where's my green shirt?

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops