Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere. - Blake Woodman

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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Who do you call when you see a ghost on the street? GHOSTBUSTERS!!!! no, ghostbusters are not real, you call the police

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That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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