What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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A black man and a white women are having dinner at a fanncy resteraunt. The waitor asks "Who is the better tipper... I know and hands the check to the white women.

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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A guy walks into a bar with a Donkey and a jar full of pennies. He walks up to the bartender and orders ten shots of whiskey. He was found dead the next morning from erotic asphyxiation.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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Roses are red, Viiolets are blue, Get in the gas chamber, You dirty Jew.

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A guy walks into a bar

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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whatdumb and gay stewart price

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whats worst than finding a worm in your apple???? an apple in your worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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