How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Only steers and queers come from Texas and i dont see any horns on you so what does that mean? It means I am not a Minotaur.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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