Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

69

What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't serve food here." The sandwich charges the barman for discrimination.

Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...