Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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