Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock knock. Who's there. Suidi Arabia. Suida Arabia who? Huh? I was too busy loading my weaponry

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

thumb_up thumb_down -27

knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what's inflation? a hollow cost.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -27

yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why did the chicken cross the road? because he frickin wanted to!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops