Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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Women are only good for seventy-one things: Love A proper home to come home to everyday 69

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Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

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To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops