I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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Q: What did the homless man get for chritsmas? A: Frostbite

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops