Smeg...

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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You are so down to earth, and never confuse that with "simple minded".

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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Who is it?

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops