Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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what is worse - this joke or the last one? what is worse still - sex what is worster - nothing that's not a real word what is wurst? a type of sausage

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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What did the little girl buy for her cat? A box to bury him in.

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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