Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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Why couldn't little Billy fall asleep. Because Billy didn't have any counting skills to be able to coins sheep

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A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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