What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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it was all Tagart

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

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knock knock? who's there.......... MEEEE :D hehe

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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Chuck Norris.

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I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

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i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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Why was the mother sad? Because she had just watched her beloved baby get shoved in a blender.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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