knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

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why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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What fires shots? A gun

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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whats green and lives in the water

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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u know whats a crime? rape

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abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

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Two Chav's jump off a cliff who wins? Neither, the affects of gravity are equal despite the weight of said object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops