How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

Q:What happened to the fat man that rode a roller coaster? A:He had fun

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...