A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a dyslexic man walked his god.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the world end? Because of Jim Layhey's whispering winds of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops