Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

Ding dong Who's there Electricity

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

Why did the chicken go to KFC? Because it was suicidal.

Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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