How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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