How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

Happy Monday!

One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

Menstrual jokes aren't funny. Period. Neither are 9/11 jokes. Just plane wrong Same with cripple jokes. Can't stand them I don't see why Helen Keller jokes are funny

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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