One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

Whats the difference between a black guy and a retard? NOTHING!!!!!!

Want to hear a joke? Sorry, you're looking at the wrong website.

Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

1+1= 69

What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

Oh...okay, good.

whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

Wanna hear a joke? No.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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