Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

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An antijoke

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Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

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to see a bad joke look above

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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Q: What do you call a group of asians riding their bikes while carrying large bags of merchandise filled with an ample amount of video games? A: Obviously, a few enviromentally-friendly entrepreneurs who managed to make enough of a profit via their established buisness to the extent that they could buy what they required and get some other desired items as well.

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roses are black violets are gray im color blind

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Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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