Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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every cloud has a silver lining

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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