Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +24

"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Shltskc gw? G

thumb_up thumb_down +24

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops