What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because his older brother was forcing him to pee on an electrical socket.

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

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What's an X-BOX? A box where you find a treasure

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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