So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops