a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A platypus walks into a bar. Why is there a butter knife in my basement?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Bob: Say this word that I spell out. Jane: Ok Bob: N.I.N.A. Jane: Um...Nina? Bob: Correct. Now try N.I.N.O. Jane: Nino like el nino Bob: Good. How about N.I.N.E. Jane: Ninny? Bob: Hahaha wrong

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -38

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's big and messy? A big mess

thumb_up thumb_down -40

How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face! -Lets go Mets

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

There was once a man with a penis so huge, his girlfriend liked their sexual experiences very much. A year later they got married and had kids, however the man got fired from his accounting job and it all went downhill.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

IT SOUNDS SO WROOONG! Actually I was thinking more about when I go short sentences, you go short, then I decide to put in like 500 lines in a single comment and then you do. Besides I call it caps! And no, I do not want you to be like me, there was already another me, it was a complete bitch killing him, I mean if I did not know a lot worse, I would say his chances at kicking my ass where equal. By the way, that "you you seducer" totally sounded like something Donald Duck would say, I dig Donald, so I guess I am into cartoons.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What is an anti joke? It's jokes about jews, blacks, and walking out of bars LIKE AN IRISHMAN

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops