What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Knock knock (who's there) Orange ( orange who) orange you glad to see

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops