Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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Your mom.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

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"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

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I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

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Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops