Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A 14 year old boy's mother walks into his room whilst he is naked. The boy requests for his mother to leave; so she apologizes and leaves as the whole incident was rather embarrasing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What does it mean when somebody is Jewish? They eat palahuardo por sinquevos for breakfast. Qua.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did logan cross the road? to get raped by his father again

thumb_up thumb_down -17

you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops