What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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What's blue? The sky.

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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Why was the Asian girl doing a math problem? It was her homework that her teacher assigned her class.

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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