roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

thumb_up thumb_down -15

two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops