what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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Have you ever seen a cowboy chasing boot?

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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