A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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You're Mom is Dead She was killed by a Grammer Nazi for me misspelling Your

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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How do you fall off a building... JUMP.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops