How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

Is Yered a dumbass? YA

Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...