Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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your mom.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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A bar walks into a man

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops