How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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What did the man say to his dead wife? "I'm Blind."

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why did road cross the chicken Niggers love chicken.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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