I woke up today

A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

Vote this up

How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

Why is Obama Care a lie? Cuz he doesn't care!

What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

Honk if you're Amish!

Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

whats 7+4? 74

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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