What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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This is just like Facebook. If you guys want to like comments, or even comment on them, just get Facebook.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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A rabbai , a mexican , and a ginger are In a car going over a cliff. Which one dies? Who cares?

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

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person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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