(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo momma so normal, she got married, had three kids and then lived a dull but contented life.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I don't drink. I'm not 21.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops