Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you confuse a gay person? How? 7

thumb_up thumb_down +4

y did simran cros rode? 2 get 2 uder side ofcurse. stopid nobs

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the plane crash because it was 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +4

2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops