why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

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what did the pornography filmer say to the asain man as he was having sex? im taking a highly pixelated recording of you and your partner engaging in sexual intercourse

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my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

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why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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The Ohio State Buckeyes

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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Your girlfriend.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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Get on the boat.

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Knock Knock! But nobody was home and couldn't hear it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops