How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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The Labour Party.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops