I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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