A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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oooooooooooooo yeah write there thats the spot what i was talking about my car

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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Q: You know what's really funny? A: A good joke.

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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What's hotter than a woman who is face down and ass up? A woman who isn't tying her shoes.

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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