Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

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Why did the fridge fall off its bike? Because someone threw a little girl at it.

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What's blue? The sky.

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why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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A zebra was on his way to a water hole. On the way he met 6 giraffes. Each giraffes had 3 monkeys around their neck. Each monkey had 2 birds on their head. How many animals went to the water hole? A:One, the zebra.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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