Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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why did the cow go to the theater? to see the new movies pick one and have a good time.

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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dyslexics of the world untie!

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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