Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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What do you do if there's a black guy bleeding on your lawn? Help Him

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

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Why was the anti-joke poster offended by all of the thumbs down? Because he didn't understand the concept of an anti-joke and instead submitted a childish, racist, incoherent lame 'joke'. This filled him with angst because he is uneducated and doesn't respond well to criticism.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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