A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure!

Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...