Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Q: What do you say to someone who makes fun of you and is bigger than you? A: Nothing, you just punch him in the toe and run away

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Q: What do you call a half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building? A: A half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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