A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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What's worse then getting a broken bone? A large marsupial charging at you with vicious speed

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I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

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1d

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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What is the most dangerous place to be right now? Rodney Kings pool.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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Why did the mexican buy 50 tacos? Because he was taking them to the orphanage where he grew up. Isn't that nice?

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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