A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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A jew walks into a bar He receives a phone call and promptly leaves

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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Who kills babies? A baby killer? No. I do.

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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Y the girl tuch her butt she tried To get dookie

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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