what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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roses are black your mamas white i didnt mean to say it but it's right

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

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little potato when born allicator don't have neck, if u like me it's cause u stole my scooter

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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Why did the retarded guy follow the 7 year old? Because he's a stalker.

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there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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