Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A Holocaust survivor. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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