- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

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A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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when tempuratures get to high the elderly will start to DIE :( ;O

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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