What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

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dallen loves penis

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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What happened to the man who fell off a cliff? He fell

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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HEY.... HEY YOU..... YEA YOU! IM TALKING TO YOU!!! yolo

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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Your mother is so poor that she has to rely on government sent cheques to sustain a basic lifestyle.

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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what is the difference between me and a grown black man.... i went to school

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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Knock knock no answer, as the tenant of the house was out shopping.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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