How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

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Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

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Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

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What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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