Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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why'd the Chinese kid die how the hell should i now

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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What's black, green, and doesn't have to take a shower? I have no idea.

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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a blind person walks into a deaf person and the deaf person says "dadadader"

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Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with men other than her husband.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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