A cat playing laser tag.

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

What did the jerk say to the Mexican? You are a Mexican

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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