why did joe diragi cross the road there was food on the other side

what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

What's one plus one? two.

What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

What does aaron eat for dinner Answer- Fat Finger HAHAHAHAHA

Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

what did the alcholic get his children for christman, nothing i lied about the children. Another joke by rangler thumbs up for more.

Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

A car walks into a bar.

Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

how do you know if your pleasuring a woman? who cares

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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