Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

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Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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