Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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Obama

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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Bitch your as two-faced as Doduo

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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What do you call a cat up a tree in a party hat? A cat up a tree with a party hat

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops