Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

my wife out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If you can't see what I see... You must be blind. If you can see what I see... Well I can't be blind because I have been able to see all my life!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Small Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops