'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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outside your comfort zone

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

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why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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0 1 this is a sad sad world.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

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why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops