I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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