What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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