roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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Can anyone Lenin money?

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The Police, you wife died in a car accident.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

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A cat playing laser tag.

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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