What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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womens rights

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

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What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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