How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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So 2 guys are curious if there is baseball I heaven... So they say when either of them dies they have to come back as a spirit and tell the other man if there is baseball in heaven One of the guys dies and comes back as a spirit... He comes to the other man and says... I've got some good news and some bad news The man says what's the the good news? The spirit says the good news is there is baseball in heaven So the man says what's the bad news?? The spirit says... Your pitching Tuesday night!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

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you that read wrong no you typed it wring my mind just rearranged the words to make grammatical sense

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops