Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Probably nothing as the social economy of the black race has been low in 2011 and hasn't raised by a penny in 2012.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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A smiling Frog talks with a lion O O U What do u eat for breakfast lion? V V T T Smiling frogs __(___ |____| O O -

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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find the o 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duh its up top

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops