Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's frozen and eaten off a stick? Your dead uncle Norman

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Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

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How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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