Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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once upon a time there was a cripple little girls who lived in an orfanage were she got raped then beat .

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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womans having rights.

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

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Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops