How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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KOOKABURRA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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