whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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a. why? b. because I wanted

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops