What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

Hey how is your wife and my kids

Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

Only steers and queers come from Texas and i dont see any horns on you so what does that mean? It means I am not a Minotaur.

Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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