Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Diarrhea

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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What is White on Top and Black on bottom? Micheal Jackson.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I have a gun. Get in the car.

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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