Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

What's white and horny? A unicorn

Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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