Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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