A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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A man was arguing with his wife over the phone at a trainstation. She threatened to leave him he did not stop his physical abuse. The man became so mad he hung up the phone. He then noticed a blind man was grinning at the overheard discussion. The husband walked over and pushed the blind man on the tracks. He died

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why don't meth addicts like food? Because they have not teeth to chew it with.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

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Why did the young boy cross the road? because his dad beats him due to alcoholism and his mother is a crack whore.

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there was a little girl walking through a park. then she was kidnapped and most likely raped and sold to a foreign country.

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops