How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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school homewrok

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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a man checks his mypsace

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What do you call a mormon in a red jumpsuit covered in black spots? Proper terminology for this scenario has not been yet made

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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