what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops