- Anti Joke

Why was the mom sad cause she had an abortion

What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

Why did the woman die Because she was old

- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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how do you stop a train? you cant..

A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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