a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

whens your birthday? July 16th What year? Every year

An antijoke

What what In the butt

An asian kid in a classroom starts to squint to try to see the board that is far away. A white man looks at the kid and asks, "Hey asian, is it hard for you to see that board?" The Asian replies, "Yes, yes it is."

Robin, get in the car.

Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walks on the moon and the other f*cks little boys.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

If life hands you lemons Take them

Do you think retarded people know that they are retarded? I don't know, you tell me. Wait a second....did you just call me retarded? They are clueless.

The awkward when you said moment in your head.

Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

Women's rights

How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

Which is the closest animals to humans? Black people (nig3gers)

What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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