A dwarf walks under a bar.

A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

live babies

Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Roses are red Violets are red Everything is red If you are dead... Or a potato

What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

Women's rights

Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

A deer walked into a hunter's bar... and was shot.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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