What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Fat chickens enjoy stepping on doorknobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The awkward when you said moment in your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is this website named Anti Joke because that's what the creator wanted it to be called

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

i have aids and a chode

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock go away

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

thumb_up thumb_down +4

In the future... "Hey Apple! Hey, hey Apple!" "What the heck, Orange! You've been doing this for the last 10 billion years!"

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops