Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +35

a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A baby seal walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I know animal testing is cruel, but my dog did really well on the SATs.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +27

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's red and silly? A blood clot

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

An asian kid in a classroom starts to squint to try to see the board that is far away. A white man looks at the kid and asks, "Hey asian, is it hard for you to see that board?" The Asian replies, "Yes, yes it is."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A fish walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q. Why did the girl fall of the bridge A. Her dad pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down +19

kennah campion... being nice

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

thumb_up thumb_down +17

yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops