whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

Why did the man fall over screaming? Because he got shot in the leg

What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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What happened when a gay man asked a straight man what time it was? He told him the correct time, they parted ways and went about with their lives.

Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

What's green and wheels? Your mom.

Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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