What is red, and bucket shaped? A red bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

jgkbk,mn

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what happens when you wake up inception

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

French people.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two black guys walk into a bar. Bartender asks them what they want to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock. Knock. No one is home. Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did a guy with a lisp, v-neck, and piercings pee while sitting down? His joints hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A little gir gets stung by a bee. Her parents see the bump She now geting meletedin Rehab because her parents saw her shoot up heroine.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops