Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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Hi Danny it's Louis Tehe

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What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

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what is white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? a refrigerator.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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