What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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I can't see my forehead

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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Oh...okay, good.

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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