Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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they make me sick. i hate them all with their big noses. they should all be rounded up and............... Oh I'm sorry, i thought this was anti-jew.com

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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Five guys one rape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows. Chickens aren't capable of knowing why they do things.

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How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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Chuck Norris is a normal man.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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