What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the woman die Because she was old

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how do you stop a train? you cant..

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The mets are 3-0 this season

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops