Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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