Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. A.Knock knock B. Who's there? A.Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

:( You are right Nero, I am terribly sorry, when I see you, I see the brightest man I have ever seen, should you ever turn against me and stop underestimating yourself, there is nothing I could do.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did one computer say to the other .........

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what do you call balls on richards chin? a dick in his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, Violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops