"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Shltskc gw? G

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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