- Anti Joke

a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

Roses Are Red Violits Are Blue Screw it RUN!!

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

You're Mom is Dead She was killed by a Grammer Nazi for me misspelling Your

People with Alzheimers will not remember this joke

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops