What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

How to trick hundreds or religious people to drink cyanide? You establish a religious community in which you establish a ritual of drinking Kool-Aid once a day and one day switch the Kool-Aid with cyanide.

Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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