How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the next joke.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops