Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

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Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona Charming Mrs Fiona 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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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pudding

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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