Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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irish man drinking john smiths

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops