Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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You know what a thief's kid receive on christmas? Your bike!

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

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Why wasent Toby at school He was hit by a tree

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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What did Geoar Bush say after a journalist ask what he was going to do about Katrina? Where gonna find her we do think she has some connection with Alkida .

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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Larchmont Park is the biggest shithole in the european union - Only the jippo part tho, lots of flies live in that part <3

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Sex! Sex Who? Sex with me. BOOM!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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