Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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