Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheelchair

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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You're Mom is Dead She was killed by a Grammer Nazi for me misspelling Your

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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